Life Advice - For A Friday

While we take our job - and responsibilities - seriously at The Life Writer, we like to have fun at work also, and especially on a Friday.

Which is why I wanted to share some funny Life Advice quotes from boredpanda.com (article link is attached below).

Here They Are: 

#1. Southern Driving Tips For Driving On Snow:

"If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you are taking your grandma to church - and there is a huge platter of biscuits in the back seat, with 2 gallons of sweet tea, in glass pitchers. Your grandma sits next to that tea with her new dress on, holding a crock pot full of gravy."

My wife and I have lived in "the south" for 10 years now, and while the locals probably don't consider us to be true southerners - yet - we think we are at least partially - - - and especially when the temp outside goes below 30 F. She and I were raised up in Ohio (where 45 F can be  a "balmy" day in February) but our blood has thinned out since then. Another indication of our "Southernhood" status: My love for - and increasing ability to - smoke ham, pork butt, chicken, turkey, sausage, and other meat on our smoker! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(A weak photo - I will shoot some better ones)

#2. Weekend Safety Briefing (from an Army base):

- Don't add to the population

- Don't subtract from the population

- Stay out of the hospital, the newspaper, and jail

- If you do end up in jail - establish dominance quickly 

Too funny - and maybe literal advice for some of the young soldiers. My brother was an Army paratrooper back in the day, and I went to visit him once at Ft. Bragg, which is about 70 miles south of where we live now. I was lucky enough to watch one of Ft. Bragg's mass parachute drops during that trip, when several hundred paratroopers jumped out of about a dozen big cargo planes. It was very impressive.   

#3. Yunosuke Shigeta's Words of Wisdom (from his high school yearbook):

"Just because you're trash... doesn't mean that you can't do great things in life.

Because it's called a garbage CAN - not garbage cannot." 

I can't tell if that a joke, or a Japanese-to-English translation mistake on Yunosuke's part. But, either way, it's funny.  

#4. Go To Sleep (sign posted outside a business):

"Don't ever give up on your dreams... Go back to sleep."

My wife would really appreciate that, because I am a morning person and she is not.  I wake up singing some mornings, and she will promptly give me her "death stare" from the pillow. Of course, when I'm ready to fall sleep at 8:00 each night, she is just beginning to fire up: "Let's start a project!"

#5. Chinese Fortune Cookie (always wise advice):

"... If you eat something, and nobody sees you eat it - then it has no calories."

I like that ancient wisdom. I used to have a paper route back in the day, and after I "collected" for the first time and realized I had like, $1.35 left over (not bad for a kid back then) I went straight to the corner store and bought 3 things I love: A Twinkie, a Hostess fruit pie (probably cherry) and a Zinger. Yes - I love the sweets. Thank you, fortune cookie!

#6. Life Advice From a 6th Grader (written in cursive):

"As you get older, things will become more lame than before. Nothing will really change, except you. I promise."

Well said, my man (or gal). And also true.

#7. Message Scrawled Across A School Blackboard:

"... If no one comes back from the future to stop you from what you are doing - how bad can it really be?" 

That's a pretty low bar for determining ethical behavior, but it's clever and I like it. 

#8. Life Advice From a Sweater (printed inside it):

"Washing Instructions: Machine Wash Cold, Do Not Bleach, Turn Inside-Out, No Softeners

Life Instructions: Lawyer Up, Delete Facebook, And Hit The Gym."

Too funny and true.

Happy Friday!

I hope that you (and yours - if that's how it is) have a long, relaxing, and wonderful weekend. 

----------------------------------------------------

Here is the boredpanda article: